Tuesday, December 18, 2007

"I enjoy being a girl!"

Sometimes, I wonder if I missed something growing up, some essential lessons on how to be female. I often feel like I'm not quite female enough. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm a boy in disguise. Oh, I guess I can act girly every now and then, but I don't really feel very girly and when I compare myself to other women I don't seem very girly at all. I'm not often interested in the things other women seem to be interested in and I don't often understand why these things are interesting.

I've only just started wearing make-up in the past few months and I only where it when I'm going to be around other women, either my classmates or my co-workers. I started wearing it because I felt like the odd woman out around them. Also, I never feel like I'm dressed right...I'm always too casual. When I do dress up, I don't seem to quite get it. All the other women I know have better outfits, better combinations, more style and poise. I have no idea what current fashion trends are and most of my clothes are years old. I keep wearing them because they fit, for the most part, so why would I need to buy more clothes?

Oh, and hair! I'm always lost when it comes to doing something with my hair. I only wear it up in a ponytail or down. Not much in between, but even then I think I'm missing something. I've bought a few hair accessories, but I can never get them to look right. I see other women wearing their hair in similar ways to what I do, but they always make it look better somehow. I can't even begin to describe the difference.

Why do I have to dress-up anyway? Why can't I just wear my favorite jeans (with a hole in the knee) and a comfy t-shirt? Do I have to wear make-up and pluck my eyebrows? Must I wash, blow dry and style my hair everyday?

In general, I just feel awkward around other women. I feel like they have some secret knowledge that no one every shared with me. If anyone has an extra copy, can you please send me the instruction book?

No comments: